Love is a many Splender!

Love is a many Splendid thing! 

What does it really mean to love someone? The media will tell you one thing, society will tell you another, but truthfully where is it that you really learn to love? My belief has been as of late, that the place you learn to love is at the home. How you learn to love other people, places, or things is largely influenced by your family and the way you were taught to express this love. Which might explain why some people love easier than others. However, the definition of love can be skewed by your environment. Whether that environment involves only your family, or largely the television and social media, or experiences, such as physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. As human beings we have free will and therefore always have a choice. We can choose to allow ourselves to be shaped by these experiences and people, or we can choose to use them as guides of what to and not do. Religion has a place in this, because in the Bible we see expressions of love and definitions that some deem unfathomable. Other religions have a policy of free love and respect for all living things, including people. In the end however, it stands to the individual to discover what love means to them.

This has been my struggle throughout my life. I love and I love big. For me to use the word love means a lot to me. It means I would die for you. It means I would trade places with you in your suffering just so I don't have to see you suffer. If I express my love for you it is a love that is endless. I do categorize my love. My love for my God, differs from that of my immediate family, and that for the rest of my family and friends, and of course once I were to find my soulmate, that love would differ as well. Now I wish to explain these definitions. Nothing is proven, this is merely my expression and understanding of love, and unfortunately it is because of this that I have not been successful in finding my soulmate because no one else seems to love the way I do. I love my God the way it says in the Bible…One of the Golden rules. "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." I am in no way perfect of being able to fully love God the way He loves me, but I do know that I love Him, and would do anything for Him, no matter the consequence. I believe one day this will be tested, and I can only pray I pass. My love for my family is so strong I would die for them and have expressed several times to them that because of this love I could not endure for any of them to die before me. Call it selfish, but I've had experience when my grandparents died. I almost could not handle their deaths, and without my family to help me, I probably would have died of a broken heart. My love is so incredible it scares me. The rest of my family I love of course, but unfortunately I can't say that I would died for all of them because a return of love has not been met. They are a part of me and of course I love them, but as my family. The love for my friends is stronger depending of the category of friend. I have my best friends, of which I contain two currently. Then I have my good friends, my friends, my party friends, and then my acquaintances. My best friends I consider as family and my love for them is equal. My good friends and friends I would lend money, help them find a job, and cook meals for them, etc… My party friends and acquaintances I can't use the word "love". I like them, and we hang out, we go out and do things together, but it takes years for me to hold those people as good friends and even more to consider them a best friend, which is why I currently only have two best friends.

Love was a word heard frequently in my family. To this day we always makes sure to say I love you before ending any phone conversation or even text messages. My mom was the one that instilled this in our family and I am eternally grateful. However, when seeing examples of love toward a spouse or "significant other," this was especially hard because in the home, my father didn't express his love very often. They of course kissed everyday, and used the words "I love you" quite often, though the expression and feeling behind it wasn't' always clear or viewed as legitimate. This has caused me to look elsewhere to see true examples of love. Now I've always been an avid movie watcher, goer, seer, and for the longest time I thought these were true expressions, though in some movies the definition of love was greatly distorted and confused with the definition of lust. When it come to intercourse, it is my firm belief that this has nothing to do with love, and everything to do with the natural carnal need for release and desire, that primal nature to mate with another being is innate. Now, love can play into intercourse, but this is only entered into as the culmination and ultimate consummation of their love and not the immediate and primary focus of the relationship. Though it is easy to say, I wish it were so easy to do. Many times we (and include myself in this) become so focused on the outward and first impression of the person's physique that we lose sight of what is truly important. I've been victim to this many a time, but luckily I can spot a hollow shell and therefore tend not to  stick around very long. 

Taking all my experiences and my home life I've come up with my own definition of love toward my partner-to-be, and this love is so strong yet so fragile that to break this bond would cause devastation to the point of catastrophe. I would never let it get to the point of tragedy, because I don't believe in taking ones life for anyone's sake much less a significant other that broke your trust and therefore broke the bonds that held your love so strong. The Greek mythology suggests that all humans in the dawn of time were all two headed beings, but the god's grew jealous of their love so Zeus struck all humans with his lightning bolt and split them in two, now we all roam the earth in ernest search for our "other half".  Of course the Bible is not quite off this subject line, because it says that a man shall leave his home and cling to his wife and they shall be "as one". Sounds like two halves of a whole to me. Attraction is important of course, I'm not going to lie, but just because I like the cover of a book never means I'll like it's contents. I would love an attractive cover that keeps me interested once I delve into it's pages. Love is a fickle creature, fragile, yet when nurtured and cared for can blossom and grow to be the strongest bond any two beings can have, a bond so strong that it can surpass a lifetime.   

There are different forms of love, but to me they are one in the same. In order to love someone or have the capacity to love, one must become selfless. You cannot love someone without loving yourself enough to put that person or persons first. Love is unconditional. Now this sort of love for me is reserved for family and your one true love. Unconditional means just this, without condition...there is nothing this person can do or say to make you stop loving them. The Greeks have categorized in five words the different kinds of love. EPITHUMIA, EROS,  STORGE,  PHILLIA, and  AGAPE.

These five words  describe the difference of this feeling. But in English we have words such as 'like', lust, love, xoxo, etc. 

In my life I have only ever loved one man in my life and this man broke my heart. Love is unexplained, you can't decide when it happens or when it won't, however, love cannot be determined in a moment, in a look, or any of these. I've never been one to believe in "Love at First Sight."But I suppose it could happen. True love to me, happens over time, it's a learned behavior that when bonded can be the most beautiful thing two people can share.  

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, love is on everyone's mind, whether it's of current love, past love, love lost, or love yet to come. To have a day once a year to commemorate this great expression is a wonderful thing, I just hope one day I'll be able to celebrate it with my one true love some time in the near future. 

To be continue...