Sins of the Mother!

Mother's are great! As is mine.
The relationship with my mother has been challenging to say the least. And before I continue, the reason I will have more to say about my mother than my father is because I've always been closer to my mother, and one tends to have more to say about those closest to their heart. I am no different.

I'm a very calm person, always have been. Even my mother would tell me stories that I was such a quiet child. Though some say that you have to look out for the quiet ones. And she was right. Though I am quiet and easy going, if you push my buttons the right way, I become like a dormant volcano that finally erupts. It's harsh and fierce and causes damage in it's path. I've erupted twice in my life, and unfortunately both times it was against my mother. Not to say I haven't blown up since then, but they have never been as fierce as these two times.

I love my mother with all my heart, however there are aspects of her that I do not like. First, she is never wrong (In her mind). Second, she loves to yell, Third, she manipulates with out meaning to, Fourth, she is very incredibly judgmental, And lastly, very self-centered. Let me give examples.

I remember one time she asked me to bake cookies for her to take to this ladies luncheon to show off to her friends at church. I was 16/17 at the time, I hadn't gone to culinary school yet. To make a long story short, I got up early, had my little sister help me and we baked all day. When my mother got back from wherever she was, she was not happy with my baking skills. She blew up at me and said something to the fact that she couldn't take these because she would be embarrassed in front of her friends, etc. Instead of thanking me and appreciating my effort, she was ungrateful and only worried about how she would look in front of her friends. Not half an hour later after our altercation, she tripped on the steps as she was leaving and broke her pinky toe...When I heard her scream in pain I went to see what happened, and after I saw, I simply turned back around and went back to my room without bothering to help her up. This is how angry I was with her. I don't regret my decision, but I did feel bad for her and made her a feel better card. I forgave her, but as I've said before, I never forget.  The whole point I'm trying to make is that to this day she feels she was in the right. No joke...

I think this example actually encompasses all the attributes that I dislike about my mother. Therefore, I won't bother you with any others, but I do have them.

There are several things I love about my mother, at the time I learned them, I didn't appreciate it, but now I do. By the time I was 12 years old I knew how to cook, clean a house, bake (somewhat), sew, knit, and crochet. I could wash my own clothes, and iron them as well. For this I'm eternally grateful to my mother. It has made me so independent and a better person. Though she has had her moments, I know as I have always known that my mother never stopped loving me. In our family we always expressed our love for each-other everyday and now every time we talk on the phone. This my mother always insisted and am grateful.

My mother has also been an inspiration to me. She has had so many different jobs since I can remember, and she never gave up until she met her goal of finally becoming a registered nurse. It was a long and arduous journey, but she persevered and I commend her for that and hold her in the highest esteem for this was no small matter. 

As in any relationship between two people, especially a mother and son, we have had our ups and downs, but with God's help and guidance we have maintained a steady and healthy relationship that continues to this day. I will always love my mother and though I may not always agree with the way she acts or is, I will never stop loving her. God could NOT have sent me a better mother to guide in His ways and teach me the essentials to survive this sinful world. As I said in the last paragraph of my blog about my father, I wish here the same. That when I have children, I will not repeat the sins of my mother! But I do hope to teach them what she has taught me, and so much more.

To be continued...